Awkward
by Eowyn77
Summary: What did the Denali girls give Edward as an engagement present? Set during the wedding reception in Breaking Dawn.


Jacob's thoughts quickly faded, lost in the babble of the wedding guests' myriad voices. As soon as he phased, he ran north until he was gone from my hearing.

Renee was uncharacteristically quiet as we danced, and I was able to keep up a conversation with my mother-in-law without really thinking about it. Judging by the tenor of her thoughts, even she was capable of being dazzled — my mother-in-law! Humans were so easily blinded by beauty. Carlisle wheeled past us with Bella in his arms, and I admitted that we vampires were enchanted by it, too. Her color was returning after her confrontation with Jacob, and she was almost my radiant bride again.

The song ended, and Eleazar, as the sole male extended-family-member on my side of the family, caught Bella up and twirled her off onto the dance-floor. I was grateful to him for running interference, giving her one more dance to fully compose herself.

"My turn!" Kate said, cutting off Jessica Stanley as she moved to intercept me.

I swept Kate up, diving into the safety of the dance-floor before Jessica could pursue. "Thanks," I murmured.

_No problem. I've been wanting to corner you anyway._

"I know."

She grinned brightly at my frown. _You got our engagement present, then?_

I tersely nodded my head once.

_Loosen up, Edward. You're married, for crying out loud. I mean, everyone knows you're going to be getting some. Especially with you being... well... so inhibited, you needed to learn a few pointers somehow. Besides, the Kama Sutra is a classic — much more than a sex manual._

I could not believe I was hearing this.

She ignored my narrowed eyes. _Did you read it? You do know Sanskrit, right? Tanya tried using it during a chess game, and that didn't slow you down, so..._

"I got about ten pages into it before the personal annotations became too nauseating. That was officially too much information, and you can quote me on that."

Emmett had found the humiliating tome and roared with laughter until he ran out of breath.

Kate giggled. _Well it was written by humans for humans — useful in some ways but utterly insufficient in others. Nobody knows more about safe sex with mortals than my sisters and I._

Dropping my hands and stepping back, I said, "And that's where I stop listening."

"You're that eager to dance with Jessica whats-her-name?"

Jessica's thoughts about me were no more appropriate than Newton's were about Bella. I swore under my breath, and Kate tried to hide her laugh this time as she stepped back into dance position. I stiffly clasped hands with her and pointedly looked over her head, focusing on nothing in particular.

Her thoughts were more serious then. _You're like a brother to us, Edward._

I arched my eyebrow at her, and she ducked her head. _Okay, more like the cute cousin we love to torment, but still. You're family. We don't know Bella very well, but she's a Cullen now, and that makes her family, too. We'd hate for anything to happen to either of you._

I caught flashes of the panic she'd endured during my near-suicide in Volterra.

_It took a while for us to figure out how to do what you're going to try to do. If the things we learned from our mistakes will help you, well, what kind of family would we be if we didn't at least _offer_ our cumulative wisdom?_

"Discreet?" I answered dryly. "Unobtrusive? Maybe even pleasant."

She pouted playfully. _Edward, I'm hurt._

I rolled my eyes.

_You didn't burn it or anything, did you?_

I sighed in aggravation and shook my head no. I hadn't destroyed it, though I thought about it frequently as Emmett gave me grief for days on end. The reason I kept it, though I'd never admit it to anyone, was that I realized I _needed_ that book with its embarrassing notes in the margins. Better even than Jacob Black, I knew how completely over my head I was.

_It was Tanya's idea to get it in the original Sanskrit, so that you could read it on the plane if necessary. She figured you wouldn't want to be reading it with the family around, and Rio's a long flight._

"Too bad she didn't get one that wasn't illustrated." Who cared what language it was in? The pictures were worth several thousand words of awkward conversation.

Kate winked. "But that's the best part."

The song was coming to an end, and Kate stood up on her tip-toes to give me a peck on the cheek. _Good luck, Edward_.

"I'll need it," I sighed.

There was worry behind the smile she gave me. _I know._


End file.
